Information for grandparents

When a child dies, grandparents are often deeply affected by both the death of their grandchild and the deep distress of their son or daughter. Many grandparents look after their grandchildren, so your grandchild’s death may mean a significant change in your daily life.

As a bereaved grandparents, Bear Cottage is here to support you.


A little about grief

  • Each person grieves differently no-one can prepare you for how you will feel

  • You can often feel overwhelmed and experience intense and unfamilar feelings

  • Grief is not a mental illness. While very painful, grief is normal. 

Emotional reactions

You may:

  • Feel unable to feel anything
  • Feel very teary or not able to cry at all
  • Be irritable, moody or angry 
  • Feel isolated, lost or very alone
  • Be frustrated, feel powerless or experience a sense of hopelessness
  • Feel angry about what has happened

Physical reactions

You may: 

  • Experience heart palpitations, breathing difficulties, dry mouth, over sensitivity to noise, upset stomach, nausea, faintness or dizziness, muscle weakness, tremors in the hands and feet or extreme fatigue
  • Have sleep and appetite changes
  • Be easily startled
  • Have a heavy feeling in your heart or lump in your throat

Behavioural reactions

You may: 

  • Not be able to focus or concentrate
  • Be forgetful
  • Withdraw socially
  • Become hyperactive
  • Have flashbacks

Spiritual reactions

You may: 

  • Question or strengthen your faith
  • Question your values, priorities and beliefs
  • Feel you have lost purpose or meaning in your life

Some things that might help

When you are grieving it is important to look after yourself.

  • Get as much rest as possible and try to get into good sleeping patterns
  • Gentle exercise helps 
  • Slow down and give yourself permission to let go of some of your responsibilities
  • Try to eat small nutritious meals
  • Talk about your grandchild and keep them a part of your family
  • Create a memory book or box for all those special belongings or photos you may have
  • Treat yourself or do something you may enjoy or that keeps you busy
  • Give yourself permission to grieve and be happy sometimes too
  • It can help to prepare ahead for some questions people may ask
  • Give yourself time to talk about your feelings
  • Be gentle on yourself

When to seek help

There is no right way or time to grieve. Many find additional support and counselling helpful at this time. If you are concerned about yourself or someone you care for, then it’s best to contact a health professional and discuss your concerns.

 Bear Cottage bereavement support

Providing bereavement support is an essential part of the Bear Cottage service. Please don’t hesitate to phone us on (02) 9976 8300 or (02) 9976 8336 at any time.

We run a number of camps for the whole family, including Grandparents. These camps offer the chance to take time out, relax and connect with others who are travelling the same path. Over these few days together, lifelong bonds and friendships are built, allowing for opportunities to share tears, laughter, advice and support.

 Support and further information

Your General Practitioner / Area Health Service will have bereavement support services available for you. Please call Bear Cottage if you need assistance in arranging this support.

  • Lifeline provides 24 hour crisis support and suicide prevention for anyone experiencing a personal crisis. Phone 13 11 14. 
  • Griefline provides dedicated grief helpline service providing counselling and support services free of charge. Phone 1300 845 745. 
  • National Association for Loss and Grief (NALAG) provides free loss and grief support face-to-face or via phone to those who are grieving phone (02) 6882 9222.