Including siblings in the process

It is important to create a safe space for siblings so they know they can ask questions about what has happened.

You'll need to provide them and other children with clear information about what to expect.

Your other children may like to be with you and talk with and touch their brother or sister.

Including them in the grief process

Protecting them by not including them in your grief may add to their feelings of loneliness and loss.
Siblings can feel sad and lonely after their brother or sister has died. They will need to say their goodbyes.
They might like to help choose a toy or favourite belonging to be placed next to them.
They may like to put a flower, letter or pictures they have drawn nearby.

If your child is viewing their sibling's body

Children need to be prepared prior to viewing the body to help them know what to expect.
If your child does view their sibling, it is important to give them a detailed description of your child that has died including the colour of their skin, their temperature, how they will feel to touch and their appearance.
The staff at Bear Cottage can help you with this and support you and your family during this time.

Children attending the funeral

If you are not sure about children attending the funeral it may be helpful to let them decide.

Letting your children be involved in this decision may help in their adjustment to the death of their brother or sister or family member.

Attending the funeral can be important to help children say goodbye.

They will need to be informed about what to expect and how they can participate in the funeral.

It is important that a supportive adult is available to accompany them.

“Building resilience is especially important for bereaved children. Nothing can take away the sadness when someone important to them dies, but we can support them to feel good about themselves and help them find ways to manage the worries and uncertainties that come with this huge change in their lives.”